What my sh:tty fridge taught me about having a positive mind
A few years back, there was a moment where I felt my life was stuck.
I had done a lot to make progress in a positive direction, but I was feeling down and when I took stock, there were still so many things that seemed broken. Not working. Stuck.
One thing that really stood out to me was my fridge.
I hated my fridge. It was too small and started to leak. It was only ever meant to be temporary and it was still in my kitchennnnnn 😩
And for some reason, every time I tried to replace it, I’d have to pay for something else that meant I kept the fridge and I paid for the other thing.
It was driving me crazy.
And so this shitty fridge became a symbol of the proof of how my life isn’t working after all…
It was painful to know that I’d done so much and yet the problems were still there. The fridge was just one of them.
It was a helpless feeling.
And it was also a particular lens.
One I got stuck in especially because I was feeling down.
I vented to a friend. She listened and asked if she could be honest with me.
Of course, I said.
She pulled me up on my hyper-negative lens,
“You are seeing the problems, but that’s ALL you’re seeing. You’re in narrow-focused tunnel vision right now. You’re not seeing all the things that ARE working.”
Actually this is something that happens as a survival tactic: focus on the threats so we can stay safe from them.
She continued, “there is a lot — other than your fridge — that IS working.”
She was right.
The fridge sucked, but my friendships didn’t. Along with so many other wonderful things in my life that were indeed great and working — my kitty cat, my potted plants, my clients, the Bwiti initiations, ISTA retreats, my cool new dress with an African print that I got made…
A forest popped into my mind: there are parts that are DECAYING and there are parts that are GROWING, all at the same time.
And the forest WORKS.
I saw that in my life it’s okay that there are ‘broken’ or ‘still in progress’ parts. It doesn’t negate the things that are working…
I snapped out of my delirium.
I remembered that what you focus on grows… Remember that like attracts like — positivity attracts positivity, negativity attracts negativity. So the more you focus on the things that aren’t working, the more you’ll get that.
It was a definitive moment in how I let my mind work..
If you want more positivity and success, pay attention to what IS working. This is how you attract more positive things to arrive….
I did it and pretty quickly began to feel more spacious. Less doomed.
And just with a change in my perspective, it turns out I wasn’t a failure after all….
Want to flip the dial in your mind for more positivity, spaciousness and possibility?
Here are 2 keys for cultivating more positivity and power in your mind:
THE FIRST KEY:
Think of 3 things that ARE working in your life right now. It might even be the great new bedspread you just bought, your kitchen renovations being completed ahead of schedule or that someone just hired you.
THE SECOND KEY:
To really become a master of positivity and flow in your world, *amplify* the positive when you notice it.
How?
When something good comes along, you can double, triple or even quadruple the positivity of that thing by amplifying it through celebrating it.
Imagine you have a ‘positivity bank account’ and something good was just deposited — like the great new bedspread, your early kitchen renovations completion or your new gig. You can get ‘interest’ on the good news by taking a second to celebrate it.
There’s a simple way to do this, but first I need to show you something about how your words and physicality are affecting your feelings (and positivity).
Take a moment to say the word NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
Notice how it feels in your body to say ‘no’.
Really feel it.
Now, take a moment to say YES.
YES.
Yes.
YES.
Notice how it feels in your body to say ‘yes’.
Did ‘no’ feel a little more closed and ‘yes’ was more open? ‘No’ had more contracted energy, but ‘yes’ had expansion? One felt more juicy and nice than the other?
We’ll use this principle in our favour to amplify positivity.
Now try this: think of something good that’s happened in your world and then say the word YES! and throw your fist in the air in celebration. Notice how it feels.
The new bedspread with little flowers… YES! ✊
Your kitchen renovations being completed ahead of schedule… YES! ✊
Someone just hired you… YES! ✊
(You might be thinking, there is no way I’m going to do this, it’s way too dorky to do such a thing. I want to ask you who is your boss — you or the opinions of others and what’s considered ‘cool’? I hope you’ll say you are your own boss, in which case you can do as you like (including saying YES!), because you make the rules around here).
When you celebrate something in the moment, you fill yourself with good energy. Positivity. You are making that good thing bigger AMPLIFYING it, so it creates more positivity waves in your world. It makes you feel good and more positive things find you (law of attraction).
When you say YES and use your body to punctuate the feeling, you light up positivity big time 💥 It becomes a kind of positivity firework.
This is all part of how you become an ally to yourself. To master your mind. To build your life in the direction you want, intentionally.
Focus your mind. Use your words and actions to support a good vibration (positivity).
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If you want support bringing your mind into alignment…
find out about 1:1 mindful-somatic online sessions (informed by Internal Family Systems).
“In each session, I come away with hope and excitement rather than the usual fear and doubt that I carry around. I’ve been to a few other therapists trying to tackle my issues and never really feel like I made any progress. I can feel the changes beginning to happen like never before. ”
