Affirmations not working? Here’s why
When I first understood how affirmations worked in my 20s, I got onto it immediately.
It made a lot of sense.
From solid objects to gas, all things are made up of atoms held together by vibration (energy). When two things carry the same vibration, they vibrate together…
Like if you had a room full of different tuning forks, if you hit a single ‘A’ note tuning fork, all the tuning forks that are set to the A frequency will start to vibrate too.
The Law of Attraction is science.
So when I learned about how thoughts carry a vibration, I got busy to think better thoughts. I’d repeat affirmations when I woke up and before bed. I’d put them on my mirror so I’d see them daily.
But why after doing all the affirmations for years did I still not have the success money, the inner peace, the opportunities, the confidence I was diligently ‘manifesting’?
I wondered in anguish, why do affirmations work for everyone else, but not me?
And then I began to understand.
A part of me wanted to have success and money. That was the part that was saying the affirmations till I was blue in the face.
What I wasn’t paying attention to is the part that didn’t want me to have success and money.
It was strong enough to put a spanner in the works.
But why would a part of me not want something so wonderful as success and money?
There are many things parts of us believe we don’t deserve or it may be even worse if we do get it….
Love
Attention
Public attention and fame
A job
Money
Status
A longterm partner
Really, good sxx
A promotion
Children
Responsibility
Buying the house on the river
Visibility
Parts within us can be afraid of these things because…
What if the money gets taken away?
What if the fame exposes us and then everyone will see for sure we are worthless?
What if the love dries up?
What if the partner leaves us?
What if I am really seen and they don’t like me anymore?
What if I get rejected or abandoned?
What if it doesn’t work out?
These possibilities are too scary sometimes — especially for the protective parts that are trying their best to shield the wounded inner child from feeling worse.
So these protective mechanisms go into action in the background (the shadow) to make sure we DON’T get the money, success, relationship and all the other things.
Because in the long run, they see it could be more dangerous… They see how it could bring us even more pain.
So this is why affirmations alone didn’t really work for me. I needed to look at what was blocking the shifts and anchoring me into my existing status quo: my shadow ‘parts’.
This is why parts-work (like Internal Family Systems (IFS)) is so useful — to look at the undercover parts that are running the show.
And then affirmations can be really useful because you’re reprograming your mind supporting a gooood vibration.
If you are struggling to see meaningful shifts from your affirmations alone, observe yourself to see if there are some parts at work…
6 steps to troubleshoot your (impotent?) affirmations:
May your parts find safety within you! May your manifestations move with ease.
With love,
Caitlyn
P.S. If you’d like support on anything I’ve shared here, reach out for a free 30-min discovery call to find out about 1:1 mindful-somatic sessions informed by Internal Family Systems (online)
P.P.S. It was also helpful to look at the part that was so desperate for money and success — it anxiously wanted the affirmations to work. Understanding which parts were really driving that desire meant I could unhook from the survival *need* to get it (it was related to proving my worth or allay my sense of unsafety). With that I could work towards success with more ease, openness and patience.
